I’ve got a problem, and I think you might too.

I pocket watch.

I’ll look at how my peers are doing. What jobs they got. Who’s doing well. Maybe even what the typical salary for their position is…

We all get told to be secure in what we have and to focus on ourselves. It’s an age-old adage.

But, like, how?

It’s so easy to see a great update post on LinkedIn and fall into the spiral of checking out what they got going on. I mean, even while I’m out catching up with friends, I get curious.

It’s a habit I could do without.

And what’s really the issue is I do it from a space of comparison. I’m not just looking, I’m comparing. Comparing them with my current situation.

The phrase, “the grass is greener on the other side” is real, and pocket watching quietly plays right into it. Whether the comparison game plays out in your favor or not, playing it erodes the personal self-security we all start out with.

I’m very grateful for what I have, but the thoughts creep in when I see other’s success. Here’s a few:

None of these are positive but they’re usually where my mind goes when I begin to compare. Playing the game makes me question my own choices and efforts.

In return, whether I notice it or not, my future decisions are made with just a bit less confidence and I’m ever-so-slightly less immersed in what I need to do for me.

It’s not healthy, but I still do it.

Why..

No quote this time. Two Systems though.

There’s a song called, “Love Yourz” by J.Cole that I listen to before big moments in my life.

An interview. Presentation. Some other situation I might be nervous entering. It’s a song that reminds me how privileged I am to get to be nervous about things.

It puts me in a good head space. It also has a fantastic message.

The song’s premise can be summed up in the chorus as Jermaine basically says, you’ll never be happy until you love yours.

It’s facts. It’s true. And on the surface, it really seems that simple.

Just love yours!

But it’s really not that simple. I’m quite grateful for what I got and yet I still compare..

How do you love yours?

Being reminded of what I want, what I’m doing to get what I want, and what I’ve already built has helped me operate in a space of stronger self-security - of loving yours.

That reminder comes in the form of ambient visibility of your goals and knowing how they connect to your daily actions.

Clarity. Visible clarity.

When I know what I need to do to get what I want and I just have to execute, I’m not worried about uncertainty or other people’s paths. It’s all crystal clear to me.

So first, we must know what we want. Then, we can work backwards.

Connecting your daily actions to your higher goals provides this clarity.

Having visibility of this connection keeps this clarity at the forefront of our intentions.

And that’s what I also want to share today.

I tend to write out my goals and then forget to look at them until next month. I’ve had wallpapers of things I want but they don’t really move me after I’ve looked at it every time my phone turns on for the past year.

I need to be reminded daily - in words - for it to have the intended effect. I’ve gotta say it to myself - either aloud or by reading it in my head.

For me, I’ve used my free planner dashboard to get this daily visibility.

This ain’t an ad though. And there’s another way to maintain clarity.

I have a mantra I say every night.

My mantra’s sentence is in this form:

“By [insert due date] I will [insert goal]. In return I will [insert what actions you will do to get what you want].”

An example might be:

By December 2028, I will be able to squat 275lbs for 8 reps. In return, I will give the best of my discipline, energy, and eating habits.

I read about the reinforcement that speaking your path aloud creates in the classic book, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.

It’s the same thing as me seeing it in my planner, except I’m speaking it aloud rather than just in my head.

Speaking it aloud or writing it down and reading it daily serve the same purpose.

They remind me of what I’m working towards. Where my energy’s been going.

Being frequently reminded of your goals reinforces that sense of security we need to not compare.

It reinforces your path, the decisions you’ve made to go down this path, the actions you’re taking to keep going, and the progress you’ve made.

Now, none of this will stunt our curiousity for others and their journeys. The pocket watching will still be there. It is for me.

But hardly ever does it stem from a place of comparison anymore.

We’re all living our own journeys and it’s impossible not to look at our peers.

But when things are clear and visible about what we need to do to get what we want, others’ paths are no longer that metaphorical greener grass.

Rather, that clarity makes it that much easier to just love yourz.

What do you want more than anything? What will get you closer to having exactly that?

I hope you leave this five minutes a little lighter than when you started.

-Cal

P.S. Did you share your interest with three people? How’d it make you feel?

Reply to this email and let me know!

Whether sharing helped you or hurt, I’ll take it personally :)